Rob Foglia

I’m writing this one today for all the people who have been told to fake it till you make it. That is such bad advice in life.

You see, I’ve been given that advice so many times. The earliest time in my adult life that I can vividly remember getting that advice came when I was 22. It was 2007 (I’ll do the math for you; I turned 40 this year), and I was a semester away from graduating from college. 

I was going through a summer management internship at Walgreens. Now, I had been working at Walgreens for the last few years while in college, and humbly, I say that I was a great employee. Despite being a full-time student, I worked full-time. I worked my way up from being a cashier to a photo tech to the photo lab manager to an inventory manager. And yet, despite this growth, I really had to push for this internship.

Now, like most soon-to-be college grads, I had no idea what was going to be in store for me. I was getting a degree that I didn’t really believe in and had no clue what was next. The economy was going downhill fast, and I wanted to make sure I could be “successful” and have a full-time job out of college. So I pushed for this opportunity.

Despite my experience, I had to interview for the role, but I did get it. It was going well, too. I got to shadow one of the most respected store managers in the district for a couple of months. I was getting nothing but positive feedback, but my boss hinted that a job offer might not be coming. Despite having three classes left until I graduated, they weren’t quite ready to bring me into full-time management. You might be asking why, and that would be a great question.

I’ve never really fit into a box well. I’ve always tried to march by the beat of my own drum, but as a young adult, I could see that resistance was on the horizon. 

I remember this moment vividly when my boss at the time sat me down for a meeting. He told me things were going really well. But I had long hair and dreams of being a rockstar. He told me that if I wanted to get a job, then I needed to cut my hair and lean into this opportunity. Despite that sounding like someone else and not me at all, I decided to go after it. Probably out of fear, but hey, I needed a job. So I got a haircut that I hated, and lo and behold, a job offer came. 

I faked it and got something. Was it the “something” I was looking for out of life? Absolutely not, it was just a job. It led me to a small opportunity for a paycheck, but not fulfillment. I don’t blame that old boss of mine for the advice, as everywhere I’ve been has taken me to the person I am today, and I’m grateful for the person I’ve become. But he was teaching me to conform rather than lean into who I am. Awful advice.

The next pivotal time this advice popped up was after I got into real estate. I was in for a few years and doing pretty well. I was grinding and working hard, and I hired a real estate coach. Instead of this coach encouraging me to lean into the things that made me unique, he spoke of bigger houses and luxury power sedans. And while I couldn’t care less about driving a luxury car, a new truck sounded great, as did a home in that desired neighborhood. So I went after those things. 

But those things never really called to my soul; they called to my lust. They called to that desire for more stuff, more possessions. Not more substance or more fulfillment.

It took me a few years to realize this. Honestly, it took the pandemic for me to realize this. I vividly remember sitting out on my back deck in April 2020, strumming my guitar. I noticed a feeling of “this just feels right.“ It felt like me. It felt like what I should be doing. (Selfie below from that day in 2020 when things “felt right.”)

While it’s taken years to lean into the courage of going after what just feels right, I’m slowly getting there. I’m slowly learning to quit faking it and not go after things that don’t matter to me. Things that five years from now I could definitely live without. It’s still something I’m working on, though.

But enough about me, and back to the subject of this post, facing it instead of faking it. Faking it is leaning into the advice that people tell you because it’s what matters to them. That old boss of mine at Walgreens was giving me advice that he would’ve told himself, not advice I needed to hear. That old real estate coach was pumping up his own desires for that luxury power sedan, not what mattered to me. And I don’t blame them, that’s what most people do. 

But that’s not what we need in this world.

I believe we need everyone to lean into what makes them special. And that’s the advice we should be giving each other.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I know that a lot of what makes us special doesn’t pay the bills. While I may have dreams of one day playing on stage at major jazz festivals, playing original music, and getting to share what’s in my heart and soul with the world, I know I’ll make more money in real estate than doing that. 

But that doesn’t mean that I should just forgo those dreams.

You see, just about anyone can sell real estate, just like anyone can learn to manage a Walgreens. If you’re a good person, if you treat others well, and if you’re willing to be coachable and learn, you can perform just about any function. But that doesn’t mean that function is a part of who you are and what makes you unique.

And, hey, no judgment if selling real estate or managing a Walgreens feels like a unique purpose to you. However, I want to encourage you to look a little deeper inside of yourself and truly discover if those are your unique purpose or something that you’re using as a stopgap instead of facing the fears of going after what truly calls to you.

We all have to face what it is that stands between us in our dreams. We should not fake a different life.

I see too many of my friends in the real estate business faking it. Too many of them are going after things just because they hear someone preach about it on stage. Or they’re going after it because that’s all they know. And while that’s OK temporarily, I promise you that 99% of you (or more) didn’t grow up saying that you wanted to build a real estate empire.

You grew up with real dreams, goals, and desires that you wanted to chase.

Face it while you chase those dreams, goals, and desires. Don’t fake it going after what someone else wants.

As I write this, the cool thing is I’m sitting here on my back deck again with the same guitar in my lap that I was strumming on a little more than 5 years ago. I’m going to strum it a little bit before my wife and daughter get home, and I get to live the roles of husband and dad. Roles that I am facing instead of faking.

I don’t think I realized it in April 2020 that if I wanted to quit faking it and start facing it, just how daunting some of the uphill challenges might look. But those challenges are worth it if I get to be truly myself.

I want to encourage you to go out there and be yourself. Be irreplaceable.